A man called Justin

She was a diamond, rough, oh yes, but still so beautiful, inside and out.  She just needed the powerful help of souls related to her desires and needs in life.
She still has a lot to learn, forever we learn, she has heard somewhere.  Every day, every minute she exists, her main goal is to expand her very own unchartered territory. The MIND. The most intense piece of machinery ever invented.  The only thing that each of us have complete control over!
“Wonderful!” she says to herself.
If hers is going a little to fast for some that’s just fine.

She has decided today to go for every dream and fantasy.
For her, this is it.
No more mind disruptions. Disharmony is or has flowed to freely in her past life.
As of this very second she has freed herself of loves lost.
The love that only causes pain, which she knows is wrong.
You see, she had to pretend every little thing was okay but alas this was not so. To her every little thing was screwed up.
Since her birth, so obviously the wrong place and time. No, she takes that back. Everything has a reason my friend. She tries to remember those words especially.
There have been so many difficult, pleasurable, opposite, positives and negatives go on her life. She uses these though.

Do you see what she sees? Take a look now:

She saw the man, old and walking with the shuffled gait of his physical age.  He certainly got his way around. She watched his attempt up the dirty, broken up, street curb.
She was in her car. The light turned green just at the moment that the guy in gray stuck his black hand out to hitch a ride.
She has not, for reasons of pure selfishness ( or is it self-love?) picked up a hitchhiker for a whole lotta years. She was 16 or so the last time.

Yet, she was compelled to stop.  She has no fear at this moment, she can feel his energy from across the way. So, stop she does, stopped to pluck up the poor soul and transplant him to another space in his universe.

She noticed right off, the first glance at his beaten face caused a video to switch on. She felt his sorrows, his joys.

Justin was the name on the key chain, secured on the zipper of his worn wind breaker.  She wonders if he is warm enough.  Warm, body and soul.  She hopes he will stay warm forever.

Together, they drive up the road.  Listening to some fantastic rhythm and blues tunes. Music is a big part of everyone’s life.  She knows this as he sings to her a little melody.  The words sounding so sweet and charming. 

She has tears in her eyes.  He to she “Let me come with you, I will follow your star.” She cries again.  He speaks her feeling so well.

He will always stay near.  She tells him this.  He and she are very smiley when she drops him off in his new space.

Can she remember the words he sang to her?  Someday, some minute they will come back.  Then again, she can breathe easier, knowing she made another smile.

One day soon, she will open her mouth and the words, His words, will come rolling right off her tongue!!  Then she can remember some sweet, sweet smiles from the man who called himself Justin.


The petty pieces that get twisted so.
Cause failure and breakdown,
it reduces the flow.

Struggles taking us the bad way.
It’s already so hard,
Following our right directions.
Sooner than we think, we all pay.

Changing our destinies, already laid down.
Do we have the right to cause such destruction?
Should we not lift ourselves to the plane that
can save, and leave behind the black instruction?

There’s a place for each and all,
to feel the ultimate peace.
Replace the hurt and sorrow.
Just let it go.
Let it cease.

Reducing the flow

Fall is falling. So What.

These days, weeks, now a month have been a fabulous, chaotic, Spirit filling wonderfulness and not so much wonderfulness. Thus is life.

I am sharing a page from my journal; 10.28.12 Perhaps it is a little fitting for the

Falling season.

*Wow and cool. I am sitting here writing by candle light and it took me back right quick. Somewhere, writing by candlewick, oops, that just popped in there but I did say candle light.

Lately, it seems, in my own mind , because what is being described is so far from the truth of me – Like for instance, being called evil. I try and figure why it bothers me so and at this moment, besides barely even holding evil thoughts, let alone deeds, it could be the fact that I feel such evil has permeated my life and it’s all I can do, at times, to keep my head above the muck and the mire.

So what I like;  incense, crystals, homeopathic remedies, aromatherapy, yummy baths (a water thing)candles and feel as if I can commune with nature like its nobodies business. .

So what I am able to “catch” peoples thoughts, (I don’t wish to read minds as it seems an invasion of privacy.) Tarot cards? Any gifts I have are straight from the Divine.


Let me add here (not in journal))= that the things that I may do,  come naturally, whether it was my fascination with the whole God story, how people tick., why a mom could kill her child. (okay, that hurt, fuck.) Shoot I’ve been fascinated with watching shows as “most evil” or “what makes a psychopath??”  and all the old horror movies, yep, fascinated as I watched with one eyeball, the other being covered with my hand, scared out of my wits but lovin it!  Twilight zone and anything to do with magic!, I dream of Jeanie, I mean come on, that’s cool stuff!) Sinbad, dinosaurs, history, unexplained, oh heck all of it. Who am I kidding? Insane reader as I am, I’ve done a lot of lookie looin via words also. Being in love with nature, animals, and wait for it, the babies and up, all them youngers, (wish I could reach out to a lot of the youth in some way). Hmmmm

Just doin me, the only way I knew to do.  And still know to do.

My first set of Tarot cards were picked up by me in some quirky cool store in Long Beach, years, and years ago. I felt them, played with them a little, and read for my sister. Read of her impending divorce. I stopped with the Tarot cards, in fact, threw those away I was so upset for her. Since I have come full circle, you know, towards the real me, again, finally.  I’ve slowly brought things into my life again. Items that work with my Divine gifts. I have book upon book of “how to do this”, and “how to learn      that” (palmistry, how to regress yourself, how to tune into your psychic vibes, and the list goes on) but the only book I’ve studied and re read and then looked at again was the Bible. After all, prophets wrote this. Gee…I bow down.

Natural gifts that I was born with. Born with them, and for a time, lost or disconnected myself from my direct link.  I had no teacher except for the Spiritual sort.

Sometimes, most times, if women have these natural gifts, (healing also, I might add) it is passed down from woman to woman through the generations.

I don’t quite know the rumor mill–its alwaze been the case though.  Fuck, its tiresome and I wish to not cry so very much anymore.

Now let me light the fire for the cauldron….hehehehehe