Soul renewal

Looking upward into the burning ball
above me,
I cannot help but notice the
sky trails weaving an
X.
 
Marks the spot.
 
No matter the bitters we have been spitting,
when it comes down to it.
 
As the pushing and shoving
takes front and center
to the love,
pains and strains
lead to breaks.
 
My own breakage left me addled
and shook up.
The toils I gathered became
binding chains instead
of the
reign of love
I wished for.
 
So, I wake, feeling my soul renewed.
A freshness that reminds me
of grass with its early morning dew.
 
Letting go to let in
the light.
A thundering bolt of color
that is twisting around the coils
of my injured self.
Releasing the slashes of yesteryear.
 
Trusting the now clear voice of my
maker.
The Father who patiently waited
while around my universe I skated.
Crumbling bricks of misshapen masonry.
 
Built up better, stronger,
everlasting.
Shining with the flecks of a glittering
God head.
A new head of my household.
 
 

Blue.

Trying to capture the blue bird with a camera in the spindly tree with one flowered bud proved to be futile.

It has made me think once or thrice in the last hours since, that my love life was sorta similar.

Me equals the bluebird.

Sorta trapped in voice, caught up in a web that covered my hearts eye.

Searching for something so outside myself, I denied myself.

It comes with quite a jolt realizing I carried this torture for so long.

Pretending to  be strong. I wasn’t. Did I give everything I have?

Not quite, says a piece of my soul. It has been given back again.

Always resting.

In Gods hands.

A man called Justin

She was a diamond, rough, oh yes, but still so beautiful, inside and out.  She just needed the powerful help of souls related to her desires and needs in life.
She still has a lot to learn, forever we learn, she has heard somewhere.  Every day, every minute she exists, her main goal is to expand her very own unchartered territory. The MIND. The most intense piece of machinery ever invented.  The only thing that each of us have complete control over!
“Wonderful!” she says to herself.
If hers is going a little to fast for some that’s just fine.

She has decided today to go for every dream and fantasy.
For her, this is it.
No more mind disruptions. Disharmony is or has flowed to freely in her past life.
As of this very second she has freed herself of loves lost.
The love that only causes pain, which she knows is wrong.
You see, she had to pretend every little thing was okay but alas this was not so. To her every little thing was screwed up.
Since her birth, so obviously the wrong place and time. No, she takes that back. Everything has a reason my friend. She tries to remember those words especially.
There have been so many difficult, pleasurable, opposite, positives and negatives go on her life. She uses these though.

Do you see what she sees? Take a look now:

She saw the man, old and walking with the shuffled gait of his physical age.  He certainly got his way around. She watched his attempt up the dirty, broken up, street curb.
She was in her car. The light turned green just at the moment that the guy in gray stuck his black hand out to hitch a ride.
She has not, for reasons of pure selfishness ( or is it self-love?) picked up a hitchhiker for a whole lotta years. She was 16 or so the last time.

Yet, she was compelled to stop.  She has no fear at this moment, she can feel his energy from across the way. So, stop she does, stopped to pluck up the poor soul and transplant him to another space in his universe.

She noticed right off, the first glance at his beaten face caused a video to switch on. She felt his sorrows, his joys.

Justin was the name on the key chain, secured on the zipper of his worn wind breaker.  She wonders if he is warm enough.  Warm, body and soul.  She hopes he will stay warm forever.

Together, they drive up the road.  Listening to some fantastic rhythm and blues tunes. Music is a big part of everyone’s life.  She knows this as he sings to her a little melody.  The words sounding so sweet and charming. 

She has tears in her eyes.  He to she “Let me come with you, I will follow your star.” She cries again.  He speaks her feeling so well.

He will always stay near.  She tells him this.  He and she are very smiley when she drops him off in his new space.

Can she remember the words he sang to her?  Someday, some minute they will come back.  Then again, she can breathe easier, knowing she made another smile.

One day soon, she will open her mouth and the words, His words, will come rolling right off her tongue!!  Then she can remember some sweet, sweet smiles from the man who called himself Justin.

Some words

 “We all know well that a collection of lies, deceptions, half-truths, fear, and cynical manipulation are what passes for a soul in many politicians” 
This quote makes a fine description for some of the people I’ve had in my life…This middle aged woman is figuring out that people really do suck. mean or not, people suck…
This has been quite an upheaval, learning all this truth. But helpful in my growth and I am okay with that…Not gonna lie, there is hurt…But, I will say this again, my boys, my angels, have saved my life again. When things feel a tad hopeless, and I can’t sleep for 5 nights straight, my babies come to my rescue.
I know the true meaning of love, and am saddened to find out the truth…most of us have no clue.