Trying to capture the blue bird with a camera in the spindly tree with one flowered bud proved to be futile.
It has made me think once or thrice in the last hours since, that my love life was sorta similar.
Me equals the bluebird.
Sorta trapped in voice, caught up in a web that covered my hearts eye.
Searching for something so outside myself, I denied myself.
It comes with quite a jolt realizing I carried this torture for so long.
Pretending to be strong. I wasn’t. Did I give everything I have?
Not quite, says a piece of my soul. It has been given back again.
In Gods hands.
She was a diamond, rough, oh yes, but still so beautiful, inside and out. She just needed the powerful help of souls related to her desires and needs in life.
She still has a lot to learn, forever we learn, she has heard somewhere. Every day, every minute she exists, her main goal is to expand her very own unchartered territory. The MIND. The most intense piece of machinery ever invented. The only thing that each of us have complete control over!
“Wonderful!” she says to herself.
If hers is going a little to fast for some that’s just fine.
She has decided today to go for every dream and fantasy.
For her, this is it.
No more mind disruptions. Disharmony is or has flowed to freely in her past life.
As of this very second she has freed herself of loves lost.
The love that only causes pain, which she knows is wrong.
You see, she had to pretend every little thing was okay but alas this was not so. To her every little thing was screwed up.
Since her birth, so obviously the wrong place and time. No, she takes that back. Everything has a reason my friend. She tries to remember those words especially.
There have been so many difficult, pleasurable, opposite, positives and negatives go on her life. She uses these though.
Do you see what she sees? Take a look now:
She saw the man, old and walking with the shuffled gait of his physical age. He certainly got his way around. She watched his attempt up the dirty, broken up, street curb.
She was in her car. The light turned green just at the moment that the guy in gray stuck his black hand out to hitch a ride.
She has not, for reasons of pure selfishness ( or is it self-love?) picked up a hitchhiker for a whole lotta years. She was 16 or so the last time.
Yet, she was compelled to stop. She has no fear at this moment, she can feel his energy from across the way. So, stop she does, stopped to pluck up the poor soul and transplant him to another space in his universe.
She noticed right off, the first glance at his beaten face caused a video to switch on. She felt his sorrows, his joys.
Justin was the name on the key chain, secured on the zipper of his worn wind breaker. She wonders if he is warm enough. Warm, body and soul. She hopes he will stay warm forever.
Together, they drive up the road. Listening to some fantastic rhythm and blues tunes. Music is a big part of everyone’s life. She knows this as he sings to her a little melody. The words sounding so sweet and charming.
She has tears in her eyes. He to she “Let me come with you, I will follow your star.” She cries again. He speaks her feeling so well.
He will always stay near. She tells him this. He and she are very smiley when she drops him off in his new space.
Can she remember the words he sang to her? Someday, some minute they will come back. Then again, she can breathe easier, knowing she made another smile.
One day soon, she will open her mouth and the words, His words, will come rolling right off her tongue!! Then she can remember some sweet, sweet smiles from the man who called himself Justin.