Trying to capture the blue bird with a camera in the spindly tree with one flowered bud proved to be futile.
It has made me think once or thrice in the last hours since, that my love life was sorta similar.
Me equals the bluebird.
Sorta trapped in voice, caught up in a web that covered my hearts eye.
Searching for something so outside myself, I denied myself.
It comes with quite a jolt realizing I carried this torture for so long.
Pretending to be strong. I wasn’t. Did I give everything I have?
Not quite, says a piece of my soul. It has been given back again.
In Gods hands.
Edginess. It is a very cool word. Yet, to feel as if you are “edgy” is not so cool.
Tensions seem to climb in a house such as ours. Our closeness stems from honesty, realness and a dose of Mary Poppins, on occasion.
My youngest younger turns 18 in a few. My oldest made a wrong turn and began with the heavy shit at 18. I started bringing life at 18.
Jordan has not been of this World since that very same age.
So, here I am. Thank God I made it.
Looks as if my C will make it too. The struggles, challenges, suffers, beauties and booties have left scars slashed but my Soul in tact.
Still on the edge, I just know where I am falling this time.