These days, weeks, now a month have been a fabulous, chaotic, Spirit filling wonderfulness and not so much wonderfulness. Thus is life.
I am sharing a page from my journal; 10.28.12 Perhaps it is a little fitting for the
*Wow and cool. I am sitting here writing by candle light and it took me back right quick. Somewhere, writing by candlewick, oops, that just popped in there but I did say candle light.
Lately, it seems, in my own mind , because what is being described is so far from the truth of me – Like for instance, being called evil. I try and figure why it bothers me so and at this moment, besides barely even holding evil thoughts, let alone deeds, it could be the fact that I feel such evil has permeated my life and it’s all I can do, at times, to keep my head above the muck and the mire.
So what I like; incense, crystals, homeopathic remedies, aromatherapy, yummy baths (a water thing)candles and feel as if I can commune with nature like its nobodies business. .
So what I am able to “catch” peoples thoughts, (I don’t wish to read minds as it seems an invasion of privacy.) Tarot cards? Any gifts I have are straight from the Divine.
Let me add here (not in journal))= that the things that I may do, come naturally, whether it was my fascination with the whole God story, how people tick., why a mom could kill her child. (okay, that hurt, fuck.) Shoot I’ve been fascinated with watching shows as “most evil” or “what makes a psychopath??” and all the old horror movies, yep, fascinated as I watched with one eyeball, the other being covered with my hand, scared out of my wits but lovin it! Twilight zone and anything to do with magic!, I dream of Jeanie, I mean come on, that’s cool stuff!) Sinbad, dinosaurs, history, unexplained, oh heck all of it. Who am I kidding? Insane reader as I am, I’ve done a lot of lookie looin via words also. Being in love with nature, animals, and wait for it, the babies and up, all them youngers, (wish I could reach out to a lot of the youth in some way). Hmmmm
Just doin me, the only way I knew to do. And still know to do.
My first set of Tarot cards were picked up by me in some quirky cool store in Long Beach, years, and years ago. I felt them, played with them a little, and read for my sister. Read of her impending divorce. I stopped with the Tarot cards, in fact, threw those away I was so upset for her. Since I have come full circle, you know, towards the real me, again, finally. I’ve slowly brought things into my life again. Items that work with my Divine gifts. I have book upon book of “how to do this”, and “how to learn that” (palmistry, how to regress yourself, how to tune into your psychic vibes, and the list goes on) but the only book I’ve studied and re read and then looked at again was the Bible. After all, prophets wrote this. Gee…I bow down.
Natural gifts that I was born with. Born with them, and for a time, lost or disconnected myself from my direct link. I had no teacher except for the Spiritual sort.
Sometimes, most times, if women have these natural gifts, (healing also, I might add) it is passed down from woman to woman through the generations.
I don’t quite know the rumor mill–its alwaze been the case though. Fuck, its tiresome and I wish to not cry so very much anymore.
Now let me light the fire for the cauldron….hehehehehe