Change up the attitude

I am trying my best to keep my head above all the chaos, fakers and people who just hate. It’s not always an easy road to take, that yellow brick road that I just know leads to ultimate happiness.

These last months, 12 to be exact, have been the most excruciating days I’ve ever had to exist through. Me, along with my precious children. But, oh the lessons learned.

I’ve met some interesting and really cool people on my path of the yellow brick road. I’ve come to the realization that people will say and do what they must to get what they need from a person. Since I don’t operate this way it’s taken me a long ole time to come to this conclusion. I can’t even wear my rose colored glasses half down my nose, they must come off!  Period.

Even people that I thought I could trust, slam me with their shitballs.  It’s okay though,  I do know who is who now.

It’s getting real close to the anniversary of my most severe shock ever. I don’t know how to feel about that one. I just know since October the deep sadness began all over again. I am looking forward to February. That is when my New Year will start. Been saying that for a while, hope it works out for me.

I still have to be the rock of this family and the cracks are just growing wider and wider these days. Sometimes I just want to run away but since the Gypsy Woman has to slow her roll, I think about it a lot and just keep my feets right  here!

Bottom line, if you aren’t real, stay the flip away from me. I don’t want to play with you anymore. 

3 thoughts on “Change up the attitude

  1. CHAZ says:

    K! Right on last I saw you things were going well, lean on me if you want I hope you know that and trust that. I go thru the crap everyday and yesterday was a beaut for the fakers and the little people showed up every where. I saw by the end of the day how I handled it and see the growth in me and the strength and conviction and know who is with me good or bad and those that are with me in the bad make me feel truly blessed. Namaste.

  2. KRISTINA says:

    Chaz, just like you to pop over here and relate. You are so awesome! You know what? I thought I was doing pretty alright. I guess I was because I still wake every day hoping to make it good. My container is just depleted. I\’ve given out more than I have and am paying the price for it. Physically and Spiritually. Ewchie. But I am doing things to get back on the bricks, not falling into the pit, oh no! When you described how you handled the hurdles of your day, I was proud of you! This has been a lesson resonating round here cuz of the Mama. Been trying to get across to the youngers that our version of whatever we may have to face each moment is in our perception and then our reaction to those. When we must deal with the other folk, it can be trying to say the least. We just don\’t know where their is head is at.! The excellent thing here is that you made the choice to take care of, um, really, the little people, huh Chaz?:) these bumps with a civility that forces us at times to cause our tounges to bleed! Long term though, it\’s the only way to go. Thanks for being in my corner, you are appreciated.

  3. CHAZ says:

    Well ya are doing pretty good! Just my 2 cents worth kid! Well the container can get low just feels empty. Giving is easy, often times we get sucked in (me too) into giving into those vessels that don\’t return, it comes back to you.Funny thing is all the people that challenged me that I stood up to CALMY were out today. Go figure. Yes it\’s the perception and part of me in that whole process is me, and how I perceive myself and that thing we label self esteem too. I know when I focus on my intention and my future it is much higher, my goals I have to move up and up each time. It\’s funny but man those little people that get so upset with something and give their opinion on it just shocks me how far off I think they are. I mean , REALLY? It\’s gotta be ego or lack thereof and insecurity. I am ALWAYS in your corner, even if I do sing a um uh ok whatever ya wanna call it Happy Birthday!Love you my friendNamaste. I can imagine your time is precious and a mom could always you more as well as could I!

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