Another young one

Another tragedy has struck our world. 
A 16yr old young lady couldnt’ be awoken from her sleep a school morning ago.
I didn’t know her personally but the boys did and she is the sister of one of the young men I consider my own.
There had been issues, issues with outside influences. This got me to thinking. 
I have wanted to be an instrument of change for the generation below me.  I was hoping more people would listen to the young ones but alas…we dont’.
I watched a movie my youngest recommended: “Freedom Writers” which showed a day in the life of a “regular” teen in Long Beach. This movie was filmed in the 90’s and it still fits and shows what our young people have to face. Most of our young people live in poverty, with disappearing parents, no one to really care.
I love to hear my boys talk.  But I have kept that line of communication open from the get go…sometimes I have to hear things no Mom wants to hear but know in my heart, how blessed I am that my sons even talk, talk real.
How come our young ones don’t feel the love we have? I feel like I have enough love in my heart to share it all over.
All I ever hear is “We don’t want them skating here!”  “Oh God, a group of three teens is coming toward us, tuck your purse Sally” “The music, how do they listen to that?!”
All the same stuff I heard when I was a teen.
It’s crap.
They need a place to hang out. They need a parent who really cares. They need any adult to show interest.
Look around in your world, that sullen teen who doesn’t want to talk…just might take a walk with you on the pier or something. No one has to talk at all. Just be. Let your love show.
Can’t we help these kids who are scared.
Some are scared the world is going to end.
Some are scared no boy/girl will ever like me.
Some are scared to go home at night.
Some are scared to bring friends home.
Some are scared to go to school.
Some are scared to walk out the front door.

How come not married?

Two nights ago, my two teens and I were at the salon, of course a couple of the cutie girls were working there.
It is hard for me to go there with my boys as they don’t understand, some of the girls that work there are all aware of what goes on in my love life…as I am interested in thiers, the same goes for the ole lady!
Anyway chatting away as we do, the girls were getting the latest update on what was up with me. I look over at Spencer as he is just shaking his head, noticed a bit of the redness on his cheeks. Gosh, he is so, so cute.  I just assumed he again was embarassed by his Mom, happens all the time!
He goes in a room, still quite able to hear our conversation even though I had to lower my voice, always I should be lowering my voice!, He throws out "My mom should be married!"
Um, hello…what the heck does he think all these problems have existed in my life for? The quest for the love of my life, I keep searching for my King and no one can tackle the quest…so what does a woman do?
Think to herself:  give up on love? do the run away? hide out on an island? Yeah, that last one sounds pretty darn perfect!
Gee whiz No!  Know why? Cause this woman craves the love a man and a woman share.  Yes, but still hasn’t reached the real love. Real Love. Not the pretend shit just to get what you need from one another, fakeness from one to the other for what? Money, material possessions? A place to live? A mother/father for your children?
 Nah..that is why I leave. I must… search continues.

Love hurts

How does a girl stop her heart from leaping when it feels like a love just for her has come?  This starts way back in our young girl days.
There is no holding it tightly to her, she can look away but her heart cannot. We’ve tried. Many of us, too many of us failed. Thinking somehow we aren’t good enough in a usually ridiculous cloud of self esteem issues.
But these are crushing, trying to break our spirits. 
A woman’s worth gets slammed over and over for reason what? Some sick lessons we have yet to learn? What is it? Most of the ladies (young, old, in between!)  in my world are just smashing!  What is our problem?
Collectively we should stand strong together. Be more positive to one another. Stop the bitchiness among the women.
We need to be better friends to one another, more real…they need us. We need us.