Maybe mistakes?

For the first time since all the chaos and change has occured these last months, I finally broke down and shed the tears.  I had to do another difficult thing just this morning.
I went to bed last night with the thought on my mind, Kristina, you will wake up in the morning and know what to do about this work situation.  Most of the people’s in my world know exactly what I am talking about.  When I arose to the alarm, I didn’t know, after my shower and that red bull, I knew. I had to quit. Got all ready, spoke with Spencer and David and told them, I will be quitting.  Didn’t know it would be today but as it turns out, yes today.  I drove, full of serenity cuz I knew this huge ugly weight would be lifted soon. I actually thought I would stay the week becuz the bossman would be leaving for Montana on Wed. and I could do the payroll at least.  The guys that work there are so so cool and I liked most every single one of them, i wanted to be able to do at least that. But as I drove up of course,  bossman was there, he usually isn’t til later in the day.  I came in, perfectly,  he was in his office, couldn’t see me.  I walked in, said Good Morning.  No response from either T or D. Fine, got my charger, put the keys, phone and bankcard on the desk.  Oh, and the  toilet paper.  Cannot forget the tp.  Friday he threw money at me and told me to get toilet paper!  So, I had the jumbo pack sitting on my desk too..Would have been perfect if I could have put a little post it on the tp and said..something clever, kiss my ass comes to mind.
My life has had major changes in 2008, a lot of things have rocked my world in the last few months and just now as  I was fixin to start the dishes, the pouration started.  In fact, I feel it coming now, again.  You know the kind that starts in your gut and comes gushing out?  Yes, cuz it has happened to us all? All my life looking for the right thing and I just cannot afford to stop now.  There was no way I was going to continue at that place with him as  my boss, absolutely not.  A couple of Fridays ago, this abrasive stress ball made me cry by yelling at me from his office while I was on the fucking phone!  That was the end.  There have been moments of sexual harrassment, more than 3 occasions of crap and another woman told me something.  He is one of those cavemen with his hands dragging behind him kicking up the dust.
As soon as I complete my cleansing cry it will all be better. Better in time, I listen to the cutie Leona singing in my ears right now, and oh yeah, better in time.

One thought on “Maybe mistakes?

  1. Ed says:

    do we put the pressure on ourselves because we like it?

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